On my chat I got two messages from two of my great friends:
“Going to Megan´s workshop, absolutely inspiring and amazing!”
The other one said:
“ Going to Karina´s workshop, adjustments…”
As I was reading the messages I felt very happy for them but also nostalgic of not going to yoga workshops and not being “out there” continuing my studies, disciplined practice, etc, etc, etc…
A few seconds later I took a look at myself, almost naked, on my bed, on a sunny Sunday, breast feeding my 4 month old beautiful child. I thought to myself: THIS IS MY YOGA PRACTICE. Suddenly I realized that Motherhood has been my highest state of yoga.
“I´m loosing it” I kept thinking when I was seeing on Facebook all the bombardic ideas, classes, workshops, events, that my colleagues are constantly doing, really thinking and feeling that I was getting behind. As a yoga practitioner and teacher I was very used to be constantly training, practicing, studying, and so on. Then, maternity came and the rhythm stopped. Time is not just my time, in fact, it is all except my time.
After the initial hectic time of a new born mom, the lack of sleep, and the hormone swing, I started going back to my center, remembering what was that I had learned from all my years of yoga practice? I started to think of what yoga was all about. What did it mean that “all you learn on your yoga mat, you learn it for life?” Had I been training for this very moment?
After many thoughts and feelings, I realized that I am not practicing yoga but BEING yoga, and when you become your practice, then you are at the highest and purest state of it.
Motherhood is all about patience, persistency, continuity, giving it all without expecting anything in return, being in the moment, developing intuition, and unconditional love. There is no other moment in my life that I can compare more to metta practice than when breast feeding while wishing my child to be happy and healthy, or chanting mantras for him to ease a stomach pain, or relaxing him at sleeping times, not to mention my constant moola bandha and uddiyana bandha practice to enforce my pelvic floor and recover my “normal” body. I cannot feel more compassionate than when my baby is crying of fever or cramps. And the list can continue….
So as I realize that I am using all the tools that the practice can give me, I can become one with the practice and BECOME yoga, and in this way motherhood is my highest state!
The rest will come when it comes.